The ‘thank God she lost’ caption contest

This is our 257th world-famous Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (h/t Grif):

About the pic: Krystal Ball, 40, is a Demonrat “political commentator” who has made guest appearances on networks such as CNN, CNBC and Fox News. She was a television host at MSNBC and a regular contributor to The Huffington Post. In 2010, when she was only 28 years old, she was the Democratic Party nominee for Virginia’s 1st congressional district, losing to Republican incumbent Rob Wittman by 63.9% to 34.8%.

During the campaign, racy photos of Ball were published on the blog Virginia Virtucon. The photos were taken at a 2004 Christmas party, depicting Ball in a bustier, short skirt and a Santa Claus hat, with her husband Jonathan Dariyanani and another woman. The above photo shows Ball staring lewdly at the camera, with a leg up a coffee table as Dariyanani points at her crotch with a cane. Other photos show Ball and the other woman lewdly sticking their tongues at each other, and Ball simulating a sex act on Dariyanani who has a dildo on his nose.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • Body and Soul‘s writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by our writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed at the end of Tuesday, May 31, 2022.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Ewwww. What’s that smell?

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

I am running out of caption pics. You can help by submitting interesting pics that you think would be great for our caption contests, by emailing them to me to:

FOTM4ever@outlook.com

Thanks!

~E

Stella gets her groove back!

Happy Friday!

DCG

We have a winner!

…FOR OUR 256TH CAPTION CONTEST!

Our writers dutifully voted for their #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote us worth 2 points.

This was a tight contest between two frontrunners. And the winner, with two #1 votes and two #2 votes, totaling 12 points, is:

Vett!

Here is the winning caption:

“You guys interested in buying more of Hunter’s paintings? I’ll throw in the codes to our missiles and anything else you need.”

Greenworx is in second place, with two #1 and one #2 votes, totaling 10 points. Here is her caption:

The evil empire smirking at clueless dementia Joe.

Jackie Puppet is in third place, with one #1 vote and 4 points:

Joe: You know what the problem with these masks are? It’s much more difficult to go up to a little girl, and sniff her!

Arche N. and BuzzedLightYears are in fourth place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points:

Arche N.: “Biden should be wearing that mask on the *back* of his head to keep the remnants of his brain from dribbling out.”

BuzzedLightYears: “Ya think the world knows what we have planned for them …”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, vett!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

I am running out of caption pics. You can help by submitting interesting pics that you think would be great for our caption contests, by emailing them to me to:

FOTM4ever@outlook.com

Thanks!

Be here later today for our next very exciting Caption Contest!

~E

Passenger lands plane after pilot has medical emergency

Meet Darren Harrison, who was the passenger on a recent Cessna flight heading back to Florida from the Bahamas.

The pilot experienced a medical emergency (he’s ok now) and Darren had to radio air traffic control to help him land the plane. The pilot had gone unconscious due to an aneurysm.

Darren said he “knew if I didn’t react that we would die.”

He also said he knew he did not want to call his wife and tell her “bye.” She is seven months pregnant and expecting their first child together, a daughter due in the summer.

Air traffic controller Robert Morgan guided Darren through the steps of flying and landing the plane even as Darren continued to struggle with the navigation system. Darren was eventually able to pull into the runway at the Palm Beach International Airport.

As Darren said in The Today Show interview, “the hand of God was on that plane.”

Read the whole story here and/or watch the video here:

Here’s Darren’s 10 minute interview with The Today Show:

Bet Darren’s wife is so proud of him, and thankful he remained so calm!

DCG

Monday funnies!

DCG

Sunday Funny! Nail trimming

Such drama queens. 🙂

~E

Sunday Devotional: Love One Another

John 13:31-33a, 34-35

When Judas had left them, Jesus said,
“Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
If God is glorified in him,
God will also glorify him in himself,
and God will glorify him at once.
My children, I will be with you only a little while longer.
I give you a new commandment: love one another.
As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.
This is how all will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another.”

Of all of Jesus’ apostles who had witnessed so many miracles, including the raising of three individuals (Lazarus, the daughter of Jairus, and the son of the widow at Nain) from the dead, St. John was the only one who stayed with their Lord and God during His persecution and sacrificial death on the cross.

In one of St. John’s most moving passages, he recounted what may be Jesus’ most important instruction to us:

I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.”

This August will be the third year since I lost my husband. Not a day goes by without my missing him.

This is the biggest lesson I learnt from losing him: I regret our quarrels, my sometime impatience with him, and my failure to tell him with more frequency that I love him. I would give anything to have him, with all his imperfections and foibles, back for even a day. For no matter what accomplishments — professional, financial and personal — we may achieve in this life, in the last analysis and in the end, all that really matters is love.

So cherish your husband or wife, your friend or anyone whom you love.

Cherish every moment you have with them because the day will come when they are gone.

Revelation 21:1-5a

Then I, John, saw a new heaven and a new earth.
The former heaven and the former earth had passed away,
and the sea was no more.
I also saw the holy city, a new Jerusalem,
coming down out of heaven from God,
prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,
“Behold, God’s dwelling is with the human race.
He will dwell with them and they will be his people
and God himself will always be with them as their God.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes,
and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain,
for the old order has passed away.”

May the peace and love of Our Lord Jesus Christ be with you,

~E

Friday Funnies!

The animals edition.  🙂

~E

Joe Biden’s 76 y.o. sister thinks Meghan Markle would make a good POTUS

Valerie Biden Owens, 76

Like her doddering brother, 76-year-old Valerie Biden Owens clearly also has senile dementia.

From Daily Mail, May 10, 2022:

President Joe Biden’s sister has invited Meghan Markle to join the Democratic Party because she will ‘of course’ make a good candidate for the US Presidency. Valerie Biden Owens, 76, said that the Duchess of Sussex would be ‘welcome to come in and join the Democratic Party’, adding that it was key to have more women in politics.

For 10 years, the Biden family have had a close relationship with Prince Harry and reports have claimed that Markle has been networking among senior Democrats with a view of building a campaign and starting a career in politics.

Owens commented: ‘It’s wonderful to have women in politics. The more women we have the better our democratic system will work. We welcome her to come in and join the Democratic Party.’

When asked if she thought the Duchess would make a good potential candidate for President one day, Owens told Good Morning Britain: ‘Yes, perhaps. Of course she will.’

Owens, who released her memoir ‘Growing Up Biden: A Memoir’ last month, also confirmed that Biden would run for President again in 2024 as she defended his gaffes as ‘truths’….

Critics have cited Biden’s cognitive decline as the main reason for the current administration’s backtracking over the president’s other recent verbal blunders….

Owens added: ‘Joe is the right person at the right time for the right job and there are lots of things still to do to carry on the agenda. There’s no daylight between the private person and the public man. The American people know what Joe is about.’ When asked if Biden will run for President in 2024, Owens confirmed: ‘Yes. We’ve got stuff to do. Absolutely.’

Owens was her brother’s campaign manager for all of his Senate campaigns and for his 2008 presidential bid, which he suspended only to be chosen as Democratic nominee Barack Obama’s running mate. She was a senior adviser on the president’s successful 2020 campaign.

~E

Meghan Markle flirts with Serena Williams’ husband, Alexis Ohanian, at US Open, NY, Sept 7, 2019.

Meghan flashes her crotch at Ohanian.

 

Schools that switched to remote learning harmed children’s educational achievement in math

Here in Oklahoma schools shut down for just six weeks beginning in March 2020 when the pandemic first hit and we didn’t know what to expect. They returned to normal in-school classes in the fall of 2020. Turns out that was really best for the kids.

From Daily Mail:

Students in school districts that relied more heavily on remote learning during the pandemic fell behind in math at a far greater rate than students in states, like Texas and Florida, that stuck to in-person classes, according to a Harvard study.

Nationally, all students have seen a decrease in academic achievement because of the disruption from the pandemic, an issue that has been exacerbated by poverty and race.

But  Prof. Thomas Kane, an economist and director of Harvard’s Center for Education Policy Research, found that kids that were allowed to come to school faired far better than those who were forced to learn over video feed.

‘We estimate that in high poverty schools students lost about half a year of learning if their schools were remote for half a year or more last year,’ Kane told CNN’s Jake Tapper. ‘That’s a large effect.’

The study looked at test scores for 2.1 million American students in 49 states. Math scores suffered more than reading, according to the report.

‘Interestingly, gaps in math achievement by race and school poverty did not widen in school districts in states such as Texas and Florida and elsewhere that remained largely in-person,’ Kane told the Harvard Gazette. ‘Where schools remained in-person, gaps did not widen. Where schools shifted to remote learning, gaps widened sharply.’

Read the whole story here.

DCG