The ‘I’m not that fat’ Caption Contest

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This is our 246th world-famous Caption Contest!

Here’s the GIF:

Lizzo Belly Flop

About the GIF: Lizzo is a rapper who is proud of being fat, and is lauded for her “body positivity”. There is a rumor that at one of her shows, she dove into the crowd and crushed a member of the audience to death. Lizzo went on TikTok to dispel the rumor by bellyflopping on her bed to show she’s not so fat that she could have crushed someone to death. She said: “I’ve never stage dived in my life. Ya’ll really gon put that on my motherf****ng name? Like, I know I’m big but, b***h, I’m not that f****ng big.” (Source)

Lizzo

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • Body and Soul‘s writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by our writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in two weeks, at the end of Tuesday, August 17, 2021.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“There she blows!” cried the lookout, sighting the great white whale, Moby Dick.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~E

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Mitchell T
Mitchell T
2 years ago

Slam Dunk? Not a stage dive without jumping off stage. Falling forward and snapping a fan’s neck is like trying to balance a brick on a straw. IT GUNNA SNAP!!

Mitchell T
Mitchell T
2 years ago

Pacific Life called….your audition to replace their mascot whale failed….

Jackie Puppet
2 years ago

The poor bed: “What did I do to deserve this? OOF!!”

DCG
Editor
DCG
2 years ago

This girl has GOT to be wearing some kind of Spanx in the video. Check her out in this IG posted six days ago. NO WAY that is the same butt…
Lizzo on Instagram: “Dear @shopbabes keep sendin fits like these, please!”

Brian
Brian
2 years ago

That poor teddy bear will argue that point about crushing. Bet there isn’t any stuffing left in that little fella.

truckjunkie
truckjunkie
2 years ago

OWWWW-my EYES!!!!

GregB
GregB
2 years ago

Lizzo is seen here performing for SeaWorld hiring managers during her audition to serve as the replacement for the now retired Shamu to splash the audience.

Captain America
Captain America
2 years ago

Oh No!!! Izz Godzirra!!!

Reuben G.
Reuben G.
2 years ago

She’s not THAT fat, it only registered as 1.8 on local Richter scales

vett
vett
2 years ago

Eye bleach! Eye bleach! Where’s my eye bleach.