Author Archives: DrE

The ‘thank God she lost’ caption contest

This is our 257th world-famous Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (h/t Grif):

About the pic: Krystal Ball, 40, is a Demonrat “political commentator” who has made guest appearances on networks such as CNN, CNBC and Fox News. She was a television host at MSNBC and a regular contributor to The Huffington Post. In 2010, when she was only 28 years old, she was the Democratic Party nominee for Virginia’s 1st congressional district, losing to Republican incumbent Rob Wittman by 63.9% to 34.8%.

During the campaign, racy photos of Ball were published on the blog Virginia Virtucon. The photos were taken at a 2004 Christmas party, depicting Ball in a bustier, short skirt and a Santa Claus hat, with her husband Jonathan Dariyanani and another woman. The above photo shows Ball staring lewdly at the camera, with a leg up a coffee table as Dariyanani points at her crotch with a cane. Other photos show Ball and the other woman lewdly sticking their tongues at each other, and Ball simulating a sex act on Dariyanani who has a dildo on his nose.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • Body and Soul‘s writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by our writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed at the end of Tuesday, May 31, 2022.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Ewwww. What’s that smell?

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

I am running out of caption pics. You can help by submitting interesting pics that you think would be great for our caption contests, by emailing them to me to:

FOTM4ever@outlook.com

Thanks!

~E

We have a winner!

…FOR OUR 256TH CAPTION CONTEST!

Our writers dutifully voted for their #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote us worth 2 points.

This was a tight contest between two frontrunners. And the winner, with two #1 votes and two #2 votes, totaling 12 points, is:

Vett!

Here is the winning caption:

“You guys interested in buying more of Hunter’s paintings? I’ll throw in the codes to our missiles and anything else you need.”

Greenworx is in second place, with two #1 and one #2 votes, totaling 10 points. Here is her caption:

The evil empire smirking at clueless dementia Joe.

Jackie Puppet is in third place, with one #1 vote and 4 points:

Joe: You know what the problem with these masks are? It’s much more difficult to go up to a little girl, and sniff her!

Arche N. and BuzzedLightYears are in fourth place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points:

Arche N.: “Biden should be wearing that mask on the *back* of his head to keep the remnants of his brain from dribbling out.”

BuzzedLightYears: “Ya think the world knows what we have planned for them …”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, vett!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

I am running out of caption pics. You can help by submitting interesting pics that you think would be great for our caption contests, by emailing them to me to:

FOTM4ever@outlook.com

Thanks!

Be here later today for our next very exciting Caption Contest!

~E

Sunday Funny! Nail trimming

Such drama queens. 🙂

~E

Sunday Devotional: Love One Another

John 13:31-33a, 34-35

When Judas had left them, Jesus said,
“Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
If God is glorified in him,
God will also glorify him in himself,
and God will glorify him at once.
My children, I will be with you only a little while longer.
I give you a new commandment: love one another.
As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.
This is how all will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another.”

Of all of Jesus’ apostles who had witnessed so many miracles, including the raising of three individuals (Lazarus, the daughter of Jairus, and the son of the widow at Nain) from the dead, St. John was the only one who stayed with their Lord and God during His persecution and sacrificial death on the cross.

In one of St. John’s most moving passages, he recounted what may be Jesus’ most important instruction to us:

I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.”

This August will be the third year since I lost my husband. Not a day goes by without my missing him.

This is the biggest lesson I learnt from losing him: I regret our quarrels, my sometime impatience with him, and my failure to tell him with more frequency that I love him. I would give anything to have him, with all his imperfections and foibles, back for even a day. For no matter what accomplishments — professional, financial and personal — we may achieve in this life, in the last analysis and in the end, all that really matters is love.

So cherish your husband or wife, your friend or anyone whom you love.

Cherish every moment you have with them because the day will come when they are gone.

Revelation 21:1-5a

Then I, John, saw a new heaven and a new earth.
The former heaven and the former earth had passed away,
and the sea was no more.
I also saw the holy city, a new Jerusalem,
coming down out of heaven from God,
prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,
“Behold, God’s dwelling is with the human race.
He will dwell with them and they will be his people
and God himself will always be with them as their God.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes,
and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain,
for the old order has passed away.”

May the peace and love of Our Lord Jesus Christ be with you,

~E

Friday Funnies!

The animals edition.  🙂

~E

Joe Biden’s 76 y.o. sister thinks Meghan Markle would make a good POTUS

Valerie Biden Owens, 76

Like her doddering brother, 76-year-old Valerie Biden Owens clearly also has senile dementia.

From Daily Mail, May 10, 2022:

President Joe Biden’s sister has invited Meghan Markle to join the Democratic Party because she will ‘of course’ make a good candidate for the US Presidency. Valerie Biden Owens, 76, said that the Duchess of Sussex would be ‘welcome to come in and join the Democratic Party’, adding that it was key to have more women in politics.

For 10 years, the Biden family have had a close relationship with Prince Harry and reports have claimed that Markle has been networking among senior Democrats with a view of building a campaign and starting a career in politics.

Owens commented: ‘It’s wonderful to have women in politics. The more women we have the better our democratic system will work. We welcome her to come in and join the Democratic Party.’

When asked if she thought the Duchess would make a good potential candidate for President one day, Owens told Good Morning Britain: ‘Yes, perhaps. Of course she will.’

Owens, who released her memoir ‘Growing Up Biden: A Memoir’ last month, also confirmed that Biden would run for President again in 2024 as she defended his gaffes as ‘truths’….

Critics have cited Biden’s cognitive decline as the main reason for the current administration’s backtracking over the president’s other recent verbal blunders….

Owens added: ‘Joe is the right person at the right time for the right job and there are lots of things still to do to carry on the agenda. There’s no daylight between the private person and the public man. The American people know what Joe is about.’ When asked if Biden will run for President in 2024, Owens confirmed: ‘Yes. We’ve got stuff to do. Absolutely.’

Owens was her brother’s campaign manager for all of his Senate campaigns and for his 2008 presidential bid, which he suspended only to be chosen as Democratic nominee Barack Obama’s running mate. She was a senior adviser on the president’s successful 2020 campaign.

~E

Meghan Markle flirts with Serena Williams’ husband, Alexis Ohanian, at US Open, NY, Sept 7, 2019.

Meghan flashes her crotch at Ohanian.

 

Wednesday Funny! Star Trek meets Joe Biden

This would be hilarious if it weren’t so distressing — that the United States has a clearly senile old man as President.

God help us.

H/t Elizabeth

~E

Sunday Devotional: Jesus, the Good Shepherd

John 10:11-16, 27-30

Jesus said:
“I am the good shepherd.
A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
A hired man, who is not a shepherd
and whose sheep are not his own,
sees a wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away,
and the wolf catches and scatters them.
This is because he works for pay and has no concern for the sheep.
I am the good shepherd,
and I know mine and mine know me,
just as the Father knows me and I know the Father;
and I will lay down my life for the sheep.
I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold.
These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice,
and there will be one flock, one shepherd….
My sheep hear my voice;
I know them, and they follow me.
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish.
No one can take them out of my hand.
My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all,
and no one can take them out of the Father’s hand.
The Father and I are one.

Jesus always spoke plainly and clearly, sometimes using stories (parables) and analogies to convey his message.

The above passage from John 10 is an example, in which Jesus described Himself as a “good shepherd” — an analogy that would be widely and easily understood by His audience.

During biblical times, families in the Middle East relied upon sheep to provide food, wool, and sheepskin. A shepherd during the time of the Old Testament was often, but not always, the youngest boy in the family until he grew older and could do harder manual labor.

That being said, being a shepherd was an important and onerous 24-7 responsibility because sheep were so valuable. The shepherd stayed and slept with their flock, day and night, and knew each one by name (“My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me.“).

The shepherd’s responsibilities included:

  • In early morning, the shepherd led his flock from the fold, marching at its head to a good pasture with plenty of food and slow-moving, easily accessible water. Guiding the flock of sheep to a good location was an extremely important task because good pastures kept the sheep healthy. If fed grass of poor quality, the sheep would be malnourished; if the water moved too quickly, the sheep would be too afraid to drink from it.
  • Here he watched them all day, taking care that none of the sheep strayed. If a sheep eluded his watch and wandered away, the shepherd would look for the lost sheep until he found and brought it back.
  • To protect his flock, a shepherd typically carried a rod, a sturdy stick with a knob at one end and nails to make it a better weapon. The shepherd used his rod to protect his sheep from wild animals or other threats. For further protection, shepherds often carried a sling, comprised of a leather pouch on a string. Placing a stone in the pouch, a skilled shepherd could fling rocky projectiles over a good distance in order to scare off or wound wild animals.
  • At night, the shepherd brought the flock home to the fold, counting them to ensure that none were missing. Nor did his labors end with sunset because he must guard the fold through the night from attacks by wild beasts or thieves. (Sources: GotQuestions; Bible Dictionaries)

Not only is Jesus a good shepherd according to the criteria in biblical times, knowing each of us by name and caring for us 24-7. Not only does Jesus the good shepherd protect His flock from harm, He went above and beyond by laying down His life for us.

He also promises us that if we follow Him, when our mortal bodies perish, we will live on and have eternal life.

All He asks is that we be good people and follow ten rules and the greatest commandment — that of loving Him with our whole heart, our whole soul and our whole mind.

Why is that so difficult for so many of us?

I am reminded of French philosopher Blaise Pascal’s famous “wager” argument for believing in God — that we should wager that God exists because it is the best bet. From Pascal’s Pensées (bold emphasis supplied):

“God is, or He is not.” But to which side shall we incline? Reason can decide nothing here. There is an infinite chaos which separated us. A game is being played at the extremity of this infinite distance where heads or tails will turn up… Which will you choose then? Let us see. Since you must choose, let us see which interests you least. You have two things to lose, the true and the good; and two things to stake, your reason and your will, your knowledge and your happiness; and your nature has two things to shun, error and misery. Your reason is no more shocked in choosing one rather than the other, since you must of necessity choose… But your happiness? Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is… If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation that He is.

May the peace and love of Jesus Christ our Lord be with you,

~E

Sunday Funnies!

The animals edition. 🙂

~E

Sunday Devotional: We must obey God rather than men

John 21:1, 4-9, 12-14

At that time, Jesus revealed himself again
to his disciples at the Sea of Tiberias….
When it was already dawn, Jesus was standing on the shore;
but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
Jesus said to them, “Children, have you caught anything to eat?”
They answered him, “No.”
So he said to them, “Cast the net over the right side of the boat
and you will find something.”
So they cast it, and were not able to pull it in
because of the number of fish.
So the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord.”
When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord,
he tucked in his garment, for he was lightly clad,
and jumped into the sea.
The other disciples came in the boat,
for they were not far from shore, only about a hundred yards,
dragging the net with the fish.
When they climbed out on shore,
they saw a charcoal fire with fish on it and bread….
Jesus said to them, “Come, have breakfast.”
And none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?”
because they realized it was the Lord.
Jesus came over and took the bread and gave it to them,
and in like manner the fish.
This was now the third time Jesus was revealed to his disciples
after being raised from the dead.

Acts of the Apostles 5:27-32, 40b-41

When the captain and the court officers had brought the apostles in
and made them stand before the Sanhedrin,
the high priest questioned them,
“We gave you strict orders, did we not,
to stop teaching in that name?
Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching
and want to bring this man’s blood upon us.”
But Peter and the apostles said in reply,
We must obey God rather than men.
The God of our ancestors raised Jesus,
though you had him killed by hanging him on a tree.
God exalted him at his right hand as leader and savior
to grant Israel repentance and forgiveness of sins.
We are witnesses of these things,
as is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey him.”

The Sanhedrin ordered the apostles
to stop speaking in the name of Jesus, and dismissed them.
So they left the presence of the Sanhedrin,
rejoicing that they had been found worthy
to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name.

In my post of January 23, 2022, “Sunday Devotional: Faith, Evidence and Logic,” I made the case for Christian belief not based exclusively on faith, but also on empirical evidence and logical reasoning.

The empirical evidence for Christianity includes the testimonies of percipient witnesses. A “percipient witness” is defined by Nolo’s Plain-English Law Dictionary as “A witness who testifies about things she or he actually perceived. For example, an eyewitness.” Those testimonies are critical to the determination of truth in law.

In Jesus’ time when there were no technological devices to record empirical phenomena and events, percipient witnesses were particularly important in providing testimonials about truths.

The Apostles and disciples who were percipient witnesses of Jesus the Christ –some of whom were fed a breakfast of fish cooked by the resurrected Jesus, as recounted in the above passage from John 21 — were willing to die for they had seen and heard because, as recounted in the above passage from Acts 5, “We must obey God rather than men.”

This is how the Apostles were martyred, testifying to the truth they’d witnessed until their last breath:

  • St. Stephen, the first martyr of Christianity, was stoned to death in Jerusalem, c. AD 34.
  • St. James, son of Zebedee and brother of St. John the Apostle, was the first Apostle to be martyred. King Herod had St. James beheaded in 44 AD.
  • St. James, son of Alpheus, was reported by the Jewish historian Josephus to have been stoned and then clubbed to death in 62 AD.
  • St. Jude Thaddaeus was crucified in Syria, c. 65 AD.
  • St. Simon the Zealot ministered in Persia and was sawn in half, c. 65 AD after refusing to sacrifice to the sun god.
  • St. Peter and St. Paul were both martyred in Rome about 66 AD, during the persecution under Emperor Nero. St. Paul was beheaded. St. Peter was crucified, upside down at his request, because he did not feel he was worthy to die in the same manner as his Lord.
  • St. Mark, a rope around his neck, was dragged to death in Alexandria, Egypt, in AD 68.
  • St. Thomas was pierced to death in India, 72 AD, where the ancient Marthoma Christians revere him as their founder.
  • St. Matthias, who was chosen to replace Judas, was burned to death in Syria, c. 80 AD.
  • St. Bartholomew (identified as Nathaniel in the Gospel of John) is believed to have been skinned alive and crucified. He ministered in India with St. Thomas, in Armenia, Ethiopia and Southern Arabia.
  • St. Philip was crucified in Hierapolis, Asia Minor, 80 AD, for converting the wife of a Roman proconsul. He also ministered in North Africa.
  • St. Andrew was crucified in Patras, Greece. He also preached in Asia Minor and modern-day Turkey. Christians in the former Soviet Union say he was the first to bring the Gospel to their land.
  • St. Matthew was beheaded in Ethiopia. He had also ministered in Persia.
  • St. John was the only Apostle who died a natural death from old age, after surviving an ordeal of being thrown into boiling oil. He was the leader of the church in Ephesus and is said to have taken care of Mary the mother of Jesus in his home. In mid-90s AD, he was exiled to the island of Patmos, where he wrote the last book of the New Testament–the Revelation.

Ask yourself this:

Why would the Apostles and countless Christians who followed, willingly be tortured and killed for a lie?

And would you, in our troubled time, be prepared at whatever costs to “obey God rather than men”?

May the love and peace of Jesus Christ our Lord be with you, and remember to tell Him that you love Him with your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole mind, and with every ounce of your strength.

~E