The Climate-Czar’s Fart Caption Contest

5/5 - (8 votes)

This is our  world-famous 277th Caption Contest!

Here’s the video (go to the 0:18 mark for the fart, LOL):

John Kerry Blasts Fart During COP28 Climate Change Conference Remarks (Video)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • Body and Soul‘s writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by our writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed at the end of Tuesday, Dec. 26, 2023.

‘To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

If cow farts contribute to global warming, that makes Biden’s climate czar John Kerry a danger to global health and wellbeing.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~E

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GregB
GregB
2 months ago

He always has been nothing more than a foul, stinking old globalist gasbag.

greenworxx
greenworxx
2 months ago

I bet Kerry, the supreme climate hypocrite, spews more carbon gas from his fanny than the average cow. He and Eric Swalwell are competing for who can fart the most and loudest in public.

Last edited 2 months ago by greenworxx
greenworxx
greenworxx
2 months ago

It’s time to hook up a carbon gas catcher on Kerry. He’s exceeding the daily limit of noxious gas eruptions as designated by the climate czar himself!

Last edited 2 months ago by greenworxx
greenworxx
greenworxx
2 months ago

Lurch won’t be able to talk his way out of this gas leak. There are witnesses!

Grif
Editor
2 months ago

Following the COP28 Climate Change Conference, John Kerry hopped into his $33 million 14-passenger Gulfstream GIV-SP private jet, which has released an estimated 715,886 pounds — or 325 metric tons — of carbon dioxide since Joe Biden appointed him Climate Change Czar. He flew to Las Vegas and took his private chauffeured limousines to Caesar’s Palace, where he bellied up to the dice table and laid down a $50 thousand bet. He murmured “Seven, come eleven; baby need a new pair of shoes” as he shook the dice. His throw was unproductive. Both dice settle down with only one dot showing—Snake Eyes.  He couldn’t believe it. “Oh shit; I crapped!” he shouted. Having no luck, he left a $1,000 tip for the croupier and took the elevator to the exclusive millionaire’s dining room. He ordered a bottle of Château Mouton Rothschild (jn) Pauillac 2003 Bordeaux and signed the $3,300.89 tab for the wine. As he mused on the events of the day, he thought back to his fiery speech and equally fiery fart. All in all, he was happy with his performance. “I’m really the perfect man to manage climate change regulations for the president,” he said to himself. “Yes, President Biden and I are kindred spirits.”

Captain America
Captain America
2 months ago

John Kerry has butthole breath rivaling Al Gore’s.

Calgirl
Calgirl
2 months ago

When and if you exhale or fart….bovine or ruminant or Kerry, follow the anointed one’s own rules and legislate them–and him– into oblivion….so that no living fish, fowl, or mammal being inherits the Earth. Harken back to pre-history when only the likes of Kerry-brains and Pennsylvania Fetternecks walked the Earth. Oh wait……

Brian
Brian
2 months ago

New York Times:
1 Woman dead 32 people injured and taken to hospital.
Today at the Climate debate John Kerry blasted his carbon foot print but came from another body part. Killing the mediator a few feet from him. Kerry is in custody waiting for de-fumigation.
Some of the victims at the hospital said he was aiming for her when he swung around in his chair.
In Other news today: The EU passed a law today on the new natural gas carbon act for the prevention of death by human Flatulence.
.

Last edited 2 months ago by Brian
Jackie Puppet
2 months ago

That wasn’t a fart – that was a few carbon credits slipping out of Kerry!