We have a winner!

. . . for our 246th Caption Contest!

Our writers have voted for their respective #1 (best) and #2 (next best) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And we have a triple whammy!

The winners of our 246th Caption Contest, each with 8 points, are:

Captain America, Mitchell T, and Reuben G.!!!

Here are their winning captions:

Captain America (with two #1 votes): “Oh No!!! Izz Godzirra!!!”

Mitchell T (with two #1 votes): “Slam Dunk? Not a stage dive without jumping off stage. Falling forward and snapping a fan’s neck is like trying to balance a brick on a straw. IT GUNNA SNAP!!”

Reuben G. (with one #1 and two #2 votes): “She’s not THAT fat, it only registered as 1.8 on local Richter scales”

Greg B is in second place, with one #1 and one #2 votes, totaling 6 points:

Lizzo is seen here performing for SeaWorld hiring managers during her audition to serve as the replacement for the now retired Shamu to splash the audience.

Brian, Jackie Puppet, and vett are in third place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points:

Brian: “That poor teddy bear will argue that point about crushing. Bet there isn’t any stuffing left in that little fella.”

Jackie Puppet: “The poor bed: ‘What did I do to deserve this? OOF!!'”

vett: “Eye bleach! Eye bleach! Where’s my eye bleach.”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, Reuben G., Mitchell T, and Captain America!!!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here later today for our next, very exciting Caption Contest!

~E

Please follow and like us: