Category Archives: Funnies

We have a winner!

Posted on July 7, 2021 by | 4 comments

. . . for our 244th Caption Contest!

Our writers have voted for their respective #1 (best) and #2 (next best) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of our 244th Caption Contest, with two #1 votes and two #2 votes, totaling 12 points is . . .

Truckjunkie!

Here is the winning caption:

Giant Cicada Wipes Huge Turd off its Butt.

Captain America and vett are in second place, each with one #1 vote and one #2 vote, totaling 6 points each. Here are their captions:

Captain America: “All insects are drawn to their demon lords.”

vett: “Damn Cootie Bugs!”

CalGirl and GregB are in third place, each with one #1 vote and 4 points:

CalGirl: “First verifiably cogent thing I’ve done since the beginning of the basement “campaign. ” At least I stood up to and swatted off a pest. Don’t know that I can do the same with Russia.”

GregB: “Cicadas live in trees, not Joe’s head. Only Trump lives in Biden’s head.”

Hildegard is in 4th place, with one #2 vote and 2 points:

Ahhh, the reek of a brainless walking corpse…irresistible…and worth waiting 17 years for, chirped the cicada nymph afterward in a prime-time interview (it went viral).

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, truckjunkie!!!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here later today for our next, very exciting Caption Contest!

~E

4 Comments

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Monday night funnies!

Posted on July 5, 2021 by | 4 comments

~E

4 Comments

Posted in Funnies

Saturday funnies!

Posted on July 3, 2021 by | 5 comments

DCG

5 Comments

Posted in Funnies

Wednesday Funny: Cats like to sit even in illusory boxes

Posted on June 30, 2021 by | 9 comments

Cat owners know that their fur-babies love to sit in bags, baskets, and boxes.

But a new study found that cats would sit even in “boxes” that are optical illusions!

Emma Young reports for the British Psychological Society’s Research Digest, May 24, 2021, that a new study by Gabriella E. Smith at City University of New York and colleagues, published in Applied Animal Behaviour Science, found that cats treated an illusory square as a real square.

Of the 500 pet cats and owners who signed up to take part, 30 completed all the trials. The owners were not told the purpose of the experiment. 

Every day for six days, each owner put their cat out of the room while they taped a pair of stimuli to the floor. The researchers instructed them each day on which two of three stimuli to use:

  1. An actual square.
  2. An illusory Kanizsa square, in which four Pacman-type cut-outs are arranged to suggest the lines of a square.
  3. The Kanizsa control, in which the Pacman-type cut-outs face the other way, so that there is no illusion of a square.

The owner then put on sunglasses (so their cat couldn’t use the owner’s gaze as a cue to what to do), brought the cat into the room, and started videoing. If, within five minutes, their cat sat or stood within either of the shapes, the trial ended. Either way, after five minutes, they submitted the result.

Of those 30 cats who completed all the trials:

  • On 8 occasions, a cat sat inside an actual square.
  • On 7 occasions, a cat sat inside a Kanizsa square.
  • A cat sat inside the Kanizsa control only once.

This suggests that cats treat the illusory Kanizsa squares just like real ones.

~E

9 Comments

Posted in cats, Funnies, God's creation

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Monday Night Funny: How to lift car hood

Posted on June 21, 2021 by | 6 comments

😀

~E

6 Comments

Posted in Funnies

Saturday Funny: Petition to deny Jeff Bezos spaceflight return to earth

Posted on June 19, 2021 by | 8 comments

Jeff Bezos (né Jorgensen) — the billionaire with odd-sized eyes, CEO and co-founder of the extremely lucrative Amazon.com, and owner of The Washington Post — recently announced that on July 20, he will travel to space on his company Blue Origin’s first passenger flight. The suborbital flight in the New Shepard will travel to an altitude of more than 340,000 feet. (Fox News)

This is the same billionaire Bezos who:

  • Like other billionaires (George Soros, Michael Bloomberg, Carl Icahn), paid nothing in federal income taxes. ProPublica discovered that in 2011, with a then-net worth of $18 billion, Bezos not only paid no federal income tax, he had the gall to file for and received a $4,000 tax credit for his children, although households with over $100,000 in joint income weren’t eligible to receive the credit. (yahoo!news)
  • Amazon’s obsessive focus on speed comes at a huge cost to its employees, who had to urinate in plastic bottles instead of taking restroom breaks. According to a report from the Strategic Organizing Center, a labor union coalition, Amazon has a much higher warehouse injury rate than its competitors:
    • There were 6.5 injuries per 100 full time employees at U.S. Amazon warehouses in 2020 compared to 4 injuries per 100 employees at all non-Amazon warehouses.
    • The Amazon injury rate was also more than twice as high as Walmart, its largest retail competitor.
    • Amazon workers are injured more frequently than elsewhere in the warehouse sector, they are also injured more severely. Last year, there were 5.9 serious injuries per 100 Amazon warehouse workers that resulted in them missing work completely, nearly 80% higher than the wider warehouse industry.

The above, and more, no doubt prompted Jose Ortiz to create an online petition to deny Bezos’ space flight from returning to Earth.

The “Petition to Not Allow Jeff Bezos Re-Entry to Earth” says:

Jeff Bezos is actually Lex Luthor, disguised as the supposed owner of a super successful online retail store. However, he’s actually an evil overlord hellbent on global domination.

As of the writing of this post, the petition has garnered 17,008 signatures. To sign, go here. LOL

~E

8 Comments

Posted in Funnies, Health, safety

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Friday Funnies!

Posted on June 18, 2021 by | 5 comments

TGIF!

And just ‘cuz I think he’s hilarious, I give you Walter Geoffrey the Frenchie and his all-time meltdown!

DCG

5 Comments

Posted in dogs, Funnies

The ‘new Lord of the Flies’ Caption Contest

Posted on June 16, 2021 by | 13 comments

This is our 244th world-famous Caption Contest!

Here’s the GIF:

About the GIF: On June 9, 2021, Joe Biden swatted a cicada off his neck after the insect landed on him at Joint Base Andrews, before he took off on his first overseas trip to the UK to attend the G7.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • Body and Soul‘s writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by our writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in two weeks, at the end of Tuesday, June 29, 2021.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Joe Biden officially succeeds Obama and Hillary Clinton as the new Lord of the Flies, aka Beelzebub, one of the seven princes of Hell.

For the winners of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~E

13 Comments

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We have a winner!

Posted on June 16, 2021 by | 4 comments

. . . for our 243rd Caption Contest!

This was a very competitive contest!

Our writers have voted for their respective #1 (best) and #2 (next best) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winners of our 243rd Caption Contest, each with 8 points are . . .

Arnold Jackson, Tim Shey, and vett!

Here are the winning captions:

Arnold Jackson: “Meghan never lets me do this.”
Tim Shey: “Thank God, Harry will never be king.”
vett: “Your transgender surgery went nicely didn’t it?”

Captain America is in second place, with two #2 votes and 4 points:

You can take the gay fop out of England,,,but the fop is permanent.

Jackie Puppet and two of truckjunkie‘s captions are in third place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points:

Jackie Puppet: “If you had these pierced like Gov. Cuomo, I could twist these a lot easier!”

truckjunkie: “No,that’s the tuner-I was looking for the volume knob….”

truckjunkie: “I’d have wanted to twist his nose off his face-there was NO excuse for THAT.”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, Arnold Jackson, Tim Shey, and vett!!!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here later today for our next, very exciting Caption Contest!

~E

4 Comments

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Tuesday Funny: My cat is a thief

Posted on June 15, 2021 by | 6 comments

Some cats are cat burglars, like this cat with a penchant for shoes.

In the case of Kate Felmet, 50, an ICU doctor in Beaverton, Oregon, her cat Esme has a fondness for gloves.

Ben Cost reports for the New York Post, June 14, 2021, that Felmet “devised an unorthodox way to pay penance for her thieving feline — by posting a sign asking neighbors to reclaim items snatched by her klepto kitty, Esme.”

Kate Felmet said, “The neighbors in my community know where to look for their stuff.” She had previously returned the items during door-to-door “apology rounds.” .

Cat burglar Esme’s scavenging spree began in the summer of 2019, when she began bringing birds and pieces of trash back to the house as gifts. Then, at the start of the Wuhan virus pandemic, Esme started curating her collections by retrieving discarded masks, amassing as many as 11 face covers in one day.

Felmet said: “It does seem like she has some sort of uncanny ability to bring on stuff that has to do with what we’re doing at the time.” Once, Esme brought her patient human tape and paint roller covers while Felmet was painting her daughter’s bedroom.

Beginning this past April, Esme turned to stealing gloves. Felmet said: “One week in late April, she brought two pairs per day. At the end of the week, I had 14 pairs, and I thought that if I didn’t do something about it I’d be swamped by the end of the summer.”

That was when Felmet posted the sign, which led to the return of 10 pairs of gloves, several masks and a running belt to their original owners. Esme recalled one time where a school bus drove by “and the guy got out and got a few things.”

In the case of one neighbor, Esme has stolen the same pair of kneepads out of their garage three times.

~E

6 Comments

Posted in cats, Funnies, God's creation

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