Author Archives: DrE

We have a winner!

WE HAVE A WINNER FOR OUR 272nd CAPTION CONTEST!

Our writers dutifully voted for their #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote us worth 2 points.

And the winner, with two #1 votes and two #2 votes, totaling 12 points, is:

GregB!

Here’s his caption:

I never thought I would ever see that many turds in a pool all at once.

CalGirl is in 2nd place, with two #1 votes and 8 points:

I haven’t seen that many floppy, nude boobs since Woodstock, and that was just the men.

Greenworxx (with one #1 vote) and Gracie Storvika (with two #2 votes) are in 3rd place, each with 4 points:

greenworxx: “Enjoy the cool water now, Satan’s minions, as one day you’ll face the realities of turning away from God.”

Gracie Storvika: “Insanity is alive and well in the Big Apple!”

Captain America is in 4th place, with one #2 vote and 2 points:

100,000 volts would solve some of that problem.

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, GregB!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here tomorrow for our very exciting next Caption Contest!

~E

California, failed state: Swarm of masked thieves rob L.A. Nordstrom of $100k

The (UK) Telegraph reports,

Dozens of masked thieves used bear spray to take down security guards before stealing around $100,000 (£78,800) worth of goods from a department store in California.

A gang of between 30 and 50 people descended on Nordstrom, a high-end clothing store, at the Westfield Topanga Mall in Woodland Hills, near Los Angeles.

They used bear spray to incapacitate security guards before they made off with handbags and designer clothing, according to the Los Angeles Police Department….

Footage of the incident circulating on social media shows intruders wearing hoods and masks darting between aisles while staff look on.

It follows a spate of similar raids in Los Angeles and other major US cities.

Republican politicians have blamed soft-on-crime policies in Democrat-controlled areas for a rise in crime….

The same Nordstrom store was hit two years ago by a group of five masked robbers who pepper-sprayed a member of staff and made off with about $25,000 worth of goods….

Just days earlier, another flash-mob style robbery took place at a Yves Saint Laurent store in Glendale, just north of Los Angeles.

The thieves stole around $300,000 worth of goods, according to the local NBC News network.

Starbucks has already closed six of its branches in Los Angeles amid safety fears. They include two spots near Hollywood Boulevard and another near Santa Monica Boulevard.

The coffee shop chain said issues with chronic homelessness, vandalism and theft were driving factors for the closures….

Karen Bass, the Democrat mayor of Los Angeles, called the robbery “absolutely unacceptable” and vowed the perpetrators would be “held accountable”…. [Blah, blah, blah]

See also:

~E

Tuesday amazing animals

A de-stressor to start your Tuesday:

The video below is truly astonishing — a bird recycles a plastic bottle, putting many humans to shame.

From its appearance, the bird appears to be a white-collared blackbird, a species of bird in the Turdidae or thrush family.

~E

Non-US citizens can become police officers in Illinois

Federal law prohibits non-U.S. citizens from serving as police officers and deputies.

But on July 28, 2023, Illinois Gov. J. B. Pritzker (D) signed into law House Bill 3751 that allows illegal immigrants, i.e., non-citizens, to apply to be a police officer. U.S. citizenship will no longer be a requirement to serve as a police officer in the state of Illinois starting January 1, 2024.

HB 3751 states, “An individual who is not a citizen but is legally authorized to work in the United States under federal law is authorized to apply for the position of police officer, subject to all requirements and limitations, other than citizenship, to which other applicants are subject.” The law also states that non-U.S. citizens can purchase, carry, and possess a firearm legally in order to apply to be a police officer.

The Fraternal Order of Police had spoken out against HB 3751 after Democrats passed it in the Illinois state House: “What message does this legislation send when it allows people who do not have legal status to become the enforcers of our laws? This is a potential crisis of confidence in law enforcement at a time when our officers need all the public confidence they can get.” (Source: Newsbreak)

Illinois is a one-party state:

  • Governor J.B. Pritzger (D)
  • Lt. Gov. Juliana Stratton (D)
  • State Senate: 40D, 19R
  • House of Representatives: 77D, 40R

~E

Why were Pfizer employees given a “special batch” of Covid vaccine?

On August 2, 2023, the Australian Senate’s Education and Employment Legislation Committee conducted a hearing, in which two officers of the pharmaceutical company Pfizer (Pfizer Australia’s Country Medical Director, Dr. Krishan Thiru, and Head of Regulatory Sciences, Dr. Brian Hewitt) admitted that:

  1. Pfizer employees received a different “special batch” of COVID vaccine.
  2. Pfizer didn’t understand the mechanism by which the COVID vaccine causes myocarditis and pericarditis.

Australian Senator  Gerard Rennick forced Pfizer to admit that they didn’t understand the mechanism by which the vaccine causes myocarditis and pericarditis. (H/t Tim Shey)

And why did José María Fernández Sousa-Faro, the founder and president of PharmaMar, a pharmaceutical company that creates and distributes drugs to treat coronavirus, fake paperwork that stated he was fully vaccinated?

Isn’t it high time our Congress investigate Pfizer and other COVID vaccine manufacturers?

~E

Friday night animal funnies!

I suggest you mute the mic on the video below 🙂

~E

Thursday Funnies!

~E

The ‘We’re Coming For Your Children” Caption Contest

This is our world-famous 272nd Caption Contest!

Here’s the video (warning: nudity):

About the video: On June 23, 2023, in New York City, LGBTQ activists marched and chanted “We’re here, we’re queer, we’re coming for your children!” (Source: RedState)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • Body and Soul‘s writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by our writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed at the end of Tuesday, August 1, 2023.

‘To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

A sight that’s sure to turn straight men gay.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~E

 

We have a winner!

WE HAVE A WINNER FOR OUR 271st CAPTION CONTEST!

Our writers dutifully voted for their #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote us worth 2 points.

And the winner, with three #1 votes and 12 points, is:

Captain America!

Here’s his caption:

Cases and cases of testosterone blocker. Soon to be on display in the children’s section of Target, right next to the pedo-devil wear.

GregB is in 2nd place, with one #1 and two #2 votes, totaling 8 points:

Change the sign to say, “Free Targets For The Gun Range” and that pallet would be empty in no time.

Jackie Puppet is in 3rd place, with one #1 and one #2 vote, totaling 6 points:

If I wanted to drink piss water for free, I’d drink out of a toilet!

Two Brain Heinz captions are both in 4th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points:

Bud Light for those who are light in the loafers and are on a budget.

Like we said “just take them” but you must sign a waiver saying that you will not sue “us” if you go gay after drinking beer this way. No suits saying that you now fart rainbows when you see light beer. “DRINK AT YOUR OWN RISK” my cause sexual psychosis in males.

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, Captain America!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here tomorrow for our very exciting next Caption Contest!

~E

Tuesday animal funnies!

https://www.tumblr.com/everythingfox/723776633622904832/two-types-of-cats

~E