Category Archives: Joe Biden

Monday not-so-funnies

~E

Remember: “No One is Above the Law”

Imagine being a crack addict and lying on your 4473 to illegally obtain a firearm. Then having your girlfriend dump the firearm in a garbage bin by a high school. Oh, and you “forgot” to pay federal income taxes for a couple years.

Do you really truly believe that YOU would receive such a sweetheart deal if you were to face felony tax and firearm violation charges? Yeah, right.

It’s good to be a demorat…

Say a pray for our country.

DCG

We have a winner!

WE HAVE A WINNER FOR OUR 266th CAPTION CONTEST!

Our writers dutifully voted for their #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote us worth 2 points.

And the winner, with two #1 votes and one #2 vote, totaling 10 points, is:

vett!

Here’s his caption:

My God, Joe, You can’t even put your shoes on the right feet. Glad you’re not really in charge of this country.

Goldbug is in 2nd place, with one #1 and one #2 votes, totaling 6 points:

Stick with me Joe, we almost have ’em fooled.

Brian Heinz (with two #2 votes), Captain America and Jackie Puppet (each with one #1 vote) are in 3rd place, with 4 points each:

Brian Heinz: “Jill, do I have time to go back in? I pooped my Depends.”

Captain America: “‘Joseph! Every time you eat ice cream and adrenochrome, you make boom booms.’ (whimper) ‘I know, mommy.’”

Jackie Puppet: “That tablecloth looks terrific on you, hon!”

greenworxx is in 4th place, with one #2 vote and 2 points:

“Did you say I passed gas? I don’t smell anything.”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, vett!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here later for our next very exciting caption contest!

~E

Thursday Funnies!

~E

The Senile-Old-Man Caption Contest

 

This is our world-famous 266th Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (h/t MR B.):

Note: The blonde is Biden’s wife, Jill.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • Body and Soul‘s writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by our writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed at the end of Tuesday, February 14, 2023.

‘To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“My bad, Mom. Whoops, Jill. I pooped in my pants again.”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~E

We have a winner!

WE HAVE A WINNER FOR OUR 264th CAPTION CONTEST!

Our writers dutifully voted for their #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; each #2 vote us worth 2 points.

And the clear winner, with three #1 votes, totaling 12 points, is:

Jackie Puppet!

Here’s his caption:

Does this mustache go with my dress?

Auntie Lulu and Brian Heinz (each with one #1 vote), and greenworxx and vett (each with two #2 votes) are in second place, each with 4 points:

Auntie Lulu: “I wonder if this tool will be wearing his red dress to prison?”

Brian Heinz: “Well it looks like we lost Mr. Clean to the trans sect.”

greenworxx: “Tranny, liar, nutter, thief…..too bad he’ll soon be full of grief!”

vett: “Now there’s a face not even a mother could love.”

Calgirl is in third place, with one #2 vote and 2 points:

“Check me out: I don’t even require “underwire” or exposed bra straps with this dress. Who knew?”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, Jackie Puppet!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here later today for our next Caption Contest!

~E

The Tranny-Luggage-Thief Caption Contest

This is our world-famous 264th Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: The bald transvestite in the pic above is Sam Britton, a self-described “non-binary,” who has served since June 19, 2022 as the Biden administration’s deputy assistant secretary of energy. He celebrated his appointment with a Twitter post photo of himself in a chic red dress and high heels. He has a well-documented career leading workshops on “pup play,” a sexual practice in which the partner plays the role of a pet dog within a domination/submission dynamic.

In September, Britton allegedly stole a high-end piece of checked luggage worth over $2,000 from a baggage carousel at the Minneapolis-Saint Paul airport. Video surveillance shows him at the baggage claim despite having checked no luggage of his own. He then appears to take the bag and remove its rightful owner’s nametag. Over the next month, Brinton used the bag as his own on multiple other trips. When eventually questioned by police, he confirmed that the bag was in his possession and claimed he’d made a mistake due to exhaustion. On October 27, Brinton was charged with felony theft of movable property without consent, which is punishable by up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine. He faces a court hearing on December 19. (Source: Spectator)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • Body and Soul‘s writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by our writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed at the end of Tuesday, December 20, 2022.

‘To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Just another freak to add to an already criminal administration.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~E

Friday Funnies!

https://twitter.com/navyhato/status/1567748876198883329

The brilliant Katie Hopkins is a conservative English columnist and media personality.

By the way, we now have indisputable evidence that senile Joe Biden ordered the FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s home in Florida. daniel_g reports:

Although Biden has repeatedly denied ordering the FBI’s raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate, court documents reveal otherwise.

U.S. District Judge Aileen Cannon on Monday granted Trump’s request to appoint a Special Master to review the documents seized by the FBI during the August 8th raid.

The ruling “temporarily enjoins” or forbids the Biden Administration from “reviewing and using the seized materials” in the DOJ’s investigation of Trump until the review is completed.

“In pages 2-3 of the ruling, Judge Cannon revealed that the Biden regime actually ORDERED the FBI raid to seize documents in Mar-a-Lago,” Infowars reported.

*Image from Infowars*

This directly contradicts repeated denials by Biden.

When asked last month whether the White House coordinated the FBI’s raid with the DOJ, Biden denied having any involvement.

~E

The Zelensky you don’t know

Volodymyr Zelensky, 44, is the President of besieged Ukraine.

Born to a Jewish family, Zelensky was a comedian actor before he became a politician. In 2019, he ran as an anti-establishment, anti-corruption political outsider for the presidency and won the election with 73.23% of the vote. In 2018, his assets were worth about $1.5 million (₴37 million). (Source: Wikipedia)

Zelensky is the darling of American and Western media even before the Russian invasion. The videos (h/t Elizabeth) below of Zelensky when he was a “comedian actor” provides some illumination as to why he is their darling.

This YouTube video is titled “Volodymyr Zelensky playing piano with dick for five minutes”:

This next video of Zelensky “performing” in black bondage leather and high heels is downright demonic:

From Grid, August 11, 2022:

American pledges of aid for Ukraine have come at a dizzying pace and scale. The flood of spending is remarkable for a conflict in which U.S. forces are not directly involved. Fresh U.S. pledges totaling $5.5 billion warrant a look at the overall numbers.

This week the Biden administration announced a pair of new infusions of aid to Ukraine, both in the billions of dollars.

The first is an authorization of $1 billion in additional military aid. The Pentagon called it the largest direct shipment of weaponry to date, which includes ammunition for advanced rocket systems, Javelin anti-tank weapons, explosives, medical supplies and more. Perhaps the most important piece of the package: rockets for the HIMARS launchers that have proved as close to a battlefield game-changer as any weapon the U.S. and NATO have sent to Ukraine.

Separately, the United States said this week that it is providing another $4.5 billion in nonmilitary aid, intended to help Ukraine “maintain essential functions,” according to the United States Agency for International Development. The money will be funneled through the World Bank.

The military package is the 18th disbursement of military assistance since August 2021, Colin Kahl, the under secretary of defense for policy, told reporters. It brings total U.S. military aid to Ukraine to $9.8 billion since Russia’s invasion in February, Kahl said.

Taken together, congressional authorizations of military and nonmilitary aid to Ukraine are now around $50 billion.

For some perspective, consider these figures: Among top recipients of U.S. military assistance in 2020, Israel received $3.3 billion, Afghanistan $2.8 billion and Egypt $1.3 billion. The totality of U.S. military aid — spread across 157 nations — amounted to $11.6 billion. The Ukraine military outlay for 2022 is now more than three-fourths of that figure — and there are still more than four months left in 2022. There are almost certainly more shipments of weapons to come.

But the U.S. has no way of knowing whether and how Zelensky’s government uses our military aid and dollars. CNN admits:

The US has few ways to track the substantial supply of anti-tank, anti-aircraft and other weaponry it has sent across the border into Ukraine, sources tell CNN, a blind spot that’s due in large part to the lack of US boots on the ground in the country — and the easy portability of many of the smaller systems now pouring across the border….

But the risk, both current US officials and defense analysts say, is that in the long term, some of those weapons may wind up in the hands of other militaries and militias that the US did not intend to arm.
“We have fidelity for a short time, but when it enters the fog of war, we have almost zero,” said one source briefed on US intelligence. “It drops into a big black hole, and you have almost no sense of it at all after a short period of time.”

~E

Joe Biden’s 76 y.o. sister thinks Meghan Markle would make a good POTUS

Valerie Biden Owens, 76

Like her doddering brother, 76-year-old Valerie Biden Owens clearly also has senile dementia.

From Daily Mail, May 10, 2022:

President Joe Biden’s sister has invited Meghan Markle to join the Democratic Party because she will ‘of course’ make a good candidate for the US Presidency. Valerie Biden Owens, 76, said that the Duchess of Sussex would be ‘welcome to come in and join the Democratic Party’, adding that it was key to have more women in politics.

For 10 years, the Biden family have had a close relationship with Prince Harry and reports have claimed that Markle has been networking among senior Democrats with a view of building a campaign and starting a career in politics.

Owens commented: ‘It’s wonderful to have women in politics. The more women we have the better our democratic system will work. We welcome her to come in and join the Democratic Party.’

When asked if she thought the Duchess would make a good potential candidate for President one day, Owens told Good Morning Britain: ‘Yes, perhaps. Of course she will.’

Owens, who released her memoir ‘Growing Up Biden: A Memoir’ last month, also confirmed that Biden would run for President again in 2024 as she defended his gaffes as ‘truths’….

Critics have cited Biden’s cognitive decline as the main reason for the current administration’s backtracking over the president’s other recent verbal blunders….

Owens added: ‘Joe is the right person at the right time for the right job and there are lots of things still to do to carry on the agenda. There’s no daylight between the private person and the public man. The American people know what Joe is about.’ When asked if Biden will run for President in 2024, Owens confirmed: ‘Yes. We’ve got stuff to do. Absolutely.’

Owens was her brother’s campaign manager for all of his Senate campaigns and for his 2008 presidential bid, which he suspended only to be chosen as Democratic nominee Barack Obama’s running mate. She was a senior adviser on the president’s successful 2020 campaign.

~E

Meghan Markle flirts with Serena Williams’ husband, Alexis Ohanian, at US Open, NY, Sept 7, 2019.

Meghan flashes her crotch at Ohanian.